Moi moi, Diorling...

Chypres and cheerful - Dior's latest scent sensations 

Crone is beside herself with joy.  Not one, but three cheeky chypres landed on her desk recently - and she can’t decide which she loves most.  All are from Christian Dior, the fashion house which celebrates it’s 65^th this month and in Crone’s opinion is the One To Watch for scents right now. For they’ve pulled off that everso tricky coup - launching heritage-style scents with both a retro vibe and exciting on-trend credentials.

 Witness the rebirth of Miss Dior, the Couture house’s first fragrance launched in 1947. At the time, the trend was for obviously pretty, powdery perfumes.  Well, there’d been a war on, and girls were understandably into being girly for their guys. So was this woody, mossy and tantalisingly green newcomer the first real feminist scent? The almost knicker-wrenchingly hormonal combo of rose, patchouli and oakmoss have earned chypres (after Cyprus, home of oakmoss) the reputation of sorting the women from the girls.  Miss D certainly defined a new and sophisticated era of chic - or at least that’s what Crone felt when she first caught up with it at the start of the stroppy ‘70s. Out went the Aqua Manda (anyone else remember those Radio Caroline ads?  And who was Christopher Collins?) In came the saucy dab between the braless cleavage under the brown silk Biba blouse. God, but Crone felt so up herself with elegant aloofness…

 So crackling the cellophane around her brand new bottle of Miss Dior Eau de Toilette Originale felt like a reunion long overdue. Now let’s be realistic. Good old scents like Miss Dior have undergone various edits along the way as key ingredients either become too costly, unethical or unsustainable. The chypre family have recently fallen foul of the infamous ‘IFRA list ‘ - the ever-burgeoning number of ingredients which scent watchdog, the International Fragrance Association consider should be limited or banned.  Apparently oak moss - the defining soul of chypres -  is an allergen, so must be restricted lest someone in Seattle sneezes. (If they start buggering around with patchouli Crone will be forced to book the one-way Swiss ticket….) So right, the current Miss Dior doesn’t have quite the bite (more lemon, less green galbanum too) as the version she remembers, but under the auspices of talented Dior perfumer François Demachy, the old girl still has some of her own teeth.

 Demachy has also worked minor miracles with new Miss Dior Eau Fraiche - a healthy dose of patchouli gives it welly without overwhelming its bergamot freshness, while the hint of gardenia in the background gives it polish. spritz? But star of the trio for Crone is the divine Diorling. First launched in 1962, it’s incisively green, wickedly leathery and drenched in patchouli with the merest hint of sexy, creamy jasmine.  A scent to make you feel it’s all still possible? Respect to Dior for introducing proper grown up scent to a fresh new generation - and reminding this old Crone that whereas it may not get her laid, chypre really does make her feel cheerful. Happy Valentine’s!

Miss Dior Eau Fraïche, from £49, 50ml, Harrods then nationwide from 5^th March. Miss Dior Original EDT from £35.60 30m; and Diorling, £69.50, 100ml EDT from Christian Dior counters nationwide.

Talon contest

                                           Polish potential: are politicians the real drips?

Has it been claws out over the cornflakes in the Gove household this week? First, the Education Secretary’s plans to disqualify vocational courses - such as Nail Technology - from counting as GCSE’s hit the presses. The very next day, the formidable Sarah Vine, Beauty Ed of the Times, bezzies with SamCam and wife of Gove published a beltingly brilliant defence of the UK beauty biz and all work in it.  “This assumption that all things beauty are just well, a bit silly, irritates me,’ she snarled. ‘It’s not just that appearance is something we all care about, whether we like to admit it or not; it’s also that beauty is a very serious and substantial business, and an important sector of our economy.’ Go Sarah!  Latest figures (Mintel, 2010) show the total UK beauty market to be worth a staggering £14.27 billion with makeup accounting for  £1.275 billion and nail polish alone, £179 million. 

So that other bit of news this week - that nail bars are the fastest-growing businesses in the high street, making up 16.5% of all new outlets in the past three years -  seems curiously at odds with Grinchy Gove’s ‘pan the polish’ policy. There’s a recession on, dammit. Shouldn’t we be encouraging our youth by recognising skills that probably will keep them gainfully employed?  (As most of us will be working our fingers to the bone for the foreseeable future, it’s a moot point whether we’ll give a stuff if the technician rescuing our nails has a GCSE or not). But as Vine so rightly says, if the beauty biz was a male-dominated industry, like armaments or shipbuilding, we’d be trumpeting its successes from the rooftops. Instead, anyone remotely involved tends to be regarded as an air-head. Vine confesses that people are taken aback when she tells them her job’s writing about makeup. Shouldn’t she be doing something more serious?  Crone has literally inspired laughter from her own husband’s cerebral mates - while their wives have quizzed her covertly about skincare.  I could go on all night about how our pursed-lipped Northern European ethic regards physical sublimation either shameful or as a learning difficulty outed. But I’d rather quote Vindicating Vine one last time. The beauty industry ‘is a sector that offers great possibilities for employment and social mobility,’ she says. ‘It doesn’t matter which school you went to or who your parents are: if you’re good, you’ll make it to the top.’ Sarah, you’ve so nailed it.

Above: OPI Nail Polish in Dutchya Just Love OPI, £12 from the Holland Collection. For stockists and salons, call 01923 240 010 or visit www.lenawhite.co.uk

Barbie says no to tress stress

This is the lovely Barbie having a very bad hair day. So, speaking reassuringly in my most Concerned Crone tone, ‘Barb,’ I gently reasoned. ‘You’re so not alone, here girlfriend. Those bouff-heads at Charles Worthington reckon today’s the day when Brits are most in need of a serious hair fix, since stats show a 35% rise in sales of hair treatments each February 2^nd.’ Barbie’s limpid blue eyes widened in wonder.  I knew what she was thinking; how did I know such things? More to the point, how could she fix that blasted Barnett and fast? ‘Listen up, I said. First off, rake a Tangle Teezer through that mangy mane and you’ll sleek that frizz, no problem. It’s also brilliant at gently sorting dyed-to-death locks like yours, especially when it’s wet and matts up like wire wool.’ Barbie looked wounded for a moment, but I just knew she thought the new Compact Styler was rather fab. So I pressed on purposefully. ‘Charles Worthington Salon at Home Strength and Repair kit’s just the thing to restore dry, damaged and fragile hair. There’s a shampoo, mask and pre-wash Repair Oil that doesn’t half put back the shine and makes hair less brittle, too.’ Barbie was perking up now. She’d spotted my pink jumbo rollers - Poundland’s finest, don’tcha know. ‘Blow-dry your hair section by section. Then when each section’s still warm quickly roll it up and pin,’ I counselled. ‘Leave the hair to cool round the roller to set that smooth bounce. An all-over whoosh of Davines’ excellent Defining Glam Power Spray sheens as it holds that ‘oomph. Honestly, it’s what I do every day!’ I encouraged.  Fifteen minutes, a final Tangle Teeze and a root-zooming of hairspray later, Barbie was tossing the gloss like she owned it. ‘Where’s Ken?” I enquired mildly and she shot me a minxy kind of look that said ‘Who gives a ••••?” as she pulled out her crystal-studded i-phone. Dunno who she’s texting now. Surely not her hairdresser?

Charles Worthington Salon at Home Strength & Repair, £19.95, Boots and www.boots.com

Tangle Teezer Compact Styler, £12.24 Boots and www.tangleteezer.com

Davines Defining Glam Power Spray, £13.30 from leading salons nationwide.

Call 0203 301 5449

Creams not complications

Well happy new year!  Is 2012 looking good? Not perhaps, if ‘Implantgate’ has anything to do with it. Who doesn’t relish the frisson of long-held convictions vindicated? But hand on unaugmented breast, Crone is far from basking in schadenfreude after what must have been a harrowing week’s news for some.

Although I’m thankful it’s never been mine, I have always regarded cosmetic surgery entirely as a matter of choice.  Done expertly by conscientious and experienced surgeons, the uplift goes beyond physical. Yet now it appears that too many practitioners have confirmed the old stereotype of the venal, dilatory doc, cynically exploiting clients’ insecurities, bullshitting over slip-ups and surgical recalls and blatantly dodging the blame. Remember that wickedly wideboy portrayal of the plastic surgeon in Terry Gilliam’s eerily prophetic Brazil?  ‘Just a little complication….’ was the fob-off line swallowed by the gullible, bandaged Mrs Terrain, whose ‘complication had a little complication’ as her lift slid terminally south…

Crone so agrees with Times journalist Janice Turner, who last Saturday accused some cosmetic surgery clinics of behaving as irresponsibly as banks, cashing in on the boom with scant attention to long-term implications.  Now the spotlight’s turning on fillers (permanent ones for now, temporaries watch this space) Crone’s more convinced than ever that penury aside, we haven’t a clue what the ultimate effects of repeated procedures will be, because frankly we’re still in the guinea pig phase. As Turner says, we already know that ‘cosmetic surgery offers spectacular but unsustainable results.’  And if you can’t trust your surgeon’s judgement over what goes under your skin,  what’s the point of risking it anyway?

So as ever, Crone’s sticking to creams. OK, the results aren’t likely to be spectacular, but with a bit of dedication, skin looks and feels better both in the short and long term.

I don’t usually blog about products that haven’t hit the stores yet, but what’s a new year for if not forecasting? I’m particularly excited about soon-to-be-launched formulas from old favourite names, which exemplify the spirit of consolidation rippling through the cosmetics industry right now. Instead of rushing out ‘the next best thing’ on a half-baked theory and shoe-horning yet another ‘step’ into an already heaving regime, smart brands are upgrading their star performers with cutting edge research. For 2012, Clarins have done it with Extra-Firming Day and Night Creams - the UK’s anti-ageing best sellers. When they first launched in 19778, little was known about how chemical messaging can influence stem cells to boost protein links that keep skin firm and flexible - or how green banana extract (really!) boosts results. Inspired by the BB cream trend, Lancôme have multi-tasked their 20 year-old Rénergie range so each cream lifts, firms and de-wrinkles on all skin levels, and brightens too.  Love the 2-in-1 eye tightener with brightening concealer built into the lid! Then there’s Estée Lauder’s Revitalizing Supreme Global Anti-Ageing Creme - a ‘one stop pot’ formulated around Lauder’s research into SIRT-1, the ‘longevity’ gene. This time black bamboo’s the master switch that turns on ‘multiple anti-ageing pathways in the skin.’ Specially designed for European women who can’t be arsed with faddy routines for this and that, its easy melt-in-the-skin texture has a pleasure rating of 20 out of 10. Bang on the money?  Keep it simple is Crone’s 2012 mantra - and don’t trust what you can’t sustain.

• Clarins Extra Firming Day Wrinkle Lifting Cream - All Skin Types and Special for Dry Skin, £46; Extra Firming Day Lifting Lotion SPF15 - All Skin Types, £46; Extra-Firming Night Rejuvenating Cream - All Skin Types and Special for Dry Skin, £48 available from March.  Stockists: 0800 036 3558 or www.clarins.co.uk

• Lancôme Rénergie Multi-Lift Day Cream, SPF15, £60; Eclat Multi-Lift, £39; Yeux Multi-Lift, £46; Yeux, £39 and Nuit Multi-|Lift, £60, at Lancôme counters nationwide from 1^st April.

• Estée Lauder Revitalizing Supreme Global Anti-Ageing Creme, £56, at Estée Lauder counters nationwide and www.esteelauder.com from April.

Whose bones on the throne?

 Cornwall.....

[With apologies to John Betjeman]

It’s awfully well done of Camilla

To think about all of our bones.

What a diligent, duchessly pillar

Of society’s fillies and crones!

Don’t diet!  she wisely advises,

Lest your BMD dwindle to dust.

Ignore skinny slebs in the glossies

Who infer that starvation’s a must….

Well, that’s enough of that. Sincerely though, thumbs up to the Senior Duch on embracing her role as President of the National Osteoporosis Society. As Crone’s know only too well, brittle bones are yet another post-menopausal risk we face - and yes, chronically poor nutrition in earlier life is a contributing factor.  As the Duch puts it in today’s Daily Wail, ‘the link between young girls, eating disorders and osteoporosis is a ticking timebomb,’ and magazines are to blame, she says. ‘You have all these glossy magazines which are read by young girls who then go on a diet and try to be thin to emulate the models they see,’ she believes, adding that mags bear a lot of responsibility in what they write.  Er, well yes, your Duchessness. Thanks for reminding us.  As a beauty journalist of some 40 years standing, I constantly curse my industry for having single-handedly caused national dysmorphia, if not our current anorexia epidemic. Or should that read obesity epidemic?  We in the UK do have the most shocking obesity figures in Europe after all….  

Reading the thoughts of  Chairwoman Camilla on the bus this morning (yes, I know I should have walked off my lard arse, but it was raining) made me wonder where was brittle anorexic fashion journalist Liz Jones? And bingo!  There she was, hating her bones and the business yet again on page 27.  No show without Punch, so they say. But moving swiftly to the crunch,call me a cynical old Crone but is the real baby elephant in Camilla’s room the increasingly willowy and winsome, glossy new Duchess of Dukan?  And do I detect a thinly-veiled swipe at old rival, Diana Superstar into the bargain?  Both have graced more magazine covers than Camilla’s had hot dinners. And do pardon my flimsiness, but I know whose bones I’d rather see on the throne. Now there's a ticking timebomb…..

.... or Cambridge?  You figure.

Keeping up appearances

Hold up:  Senior Crones will appreciate the reference to the bulldog clip

First, apologies for a summer of silence.  Crone has been deep in the throes of ministering to her nonagenarian mother, who sadly fell and broke her arm in July. Senior Crone is now doing tolerably well, but things remain a tad delicate.  Hey, well.  There comes a time in almost all our lives when mothercare takes on a poignant new spin. All the more reason then, to exploit instant and easy ways of putting a brave face on it, eh?

So I’m amused, but not surprised to read Mintel’s latest research has found that (daffy Liz Jones apart) UK women prefer skincare to surgery -  just a teensy 2% resort to the knife these days. Six in 10 women over 65 use products to look better for their age says Mintel, who conclude that taking pride in your looks isn’t just a youth thing.  Well, duh!!!  What planet do they live on? Every Crone worth her creams could have told them that. They go on to share that 57% of women aged 55-64 use skincare to sort out their wrinkles and fine lines and that anti-ageing moisturisers are top of the to-do list . Double duh!!! (Actually, in all my years of beauty writing, I’ve never actually embraced the physiological difference between a line and a wrinkle. Especially when they call them ‘fine’ lines. Are they posher than your bog-standard creases - sort of Waitrose-grade facial fissures? Is a line just wrinkle-in-waiting, like it’s queuing to star in its own close-up? Is one straight and deep and the other, well… crinkly?  Or is it all just marketing semantics…)

Whatever. The range that’s been helping to raise Crone’s spirits (and jowls) over the past weeks is Estée Lauder’s Resilience Lift Firming/Sculpting Collection.  The anti-sagging technology purports to tweak skin’s Sirtuins (so-called longevity genes) into ‘supporting’ collagen, laminin and elastin - proteins which keep skin firm and smooth. Whether Sirtuins actually do increase cell life is controversial - a new study at University College London now suggests they may not. But what Crone finds so uplifting is that Lauder’s refreshing pink Face and Neck Lotion feels reassuringly substantial. The Eye Cream brightens and de-bags without attacking her contact lenses - a rare thing, believe me!  But the real genius is Instant Action Lift Treatment - extra-tightening help dispensed from a flexy rubber spatula which, stroked over your worst nightmares, really does shrink them - albeit temporarily - like cling-film for your wrinkles. Or fine lines. And I swear it keeps my makeup looking braver for longer. Because let’s face it, Crone needs all the help she can get right now… 

• Estée Lauder Resilience Lift Firming/Sculpting Collection. Face and Neck Creme SPF15, and Lotion, both £58. Sculpting Eye Creme, £40. Night Face and Neck Creme, £60. Instant Lift Action Treatment, £45. At Estée Lauder counters nationwide and www.esteelauder.co.uk

Sweet smell of youth

Can a scent make you smell younger,  or does your good old favourite spray give your age away?  This vexing question occurred to Crone as she sniffed new versions of grand old classics currently gracing beauty counters now. 

Thanks to a generous puthering of iris, Chanel No.19 Poudré is a softer and more, well…powdery version of the 1971 original.  Ah, 1971.  Biba,  loons (remember falling over those ludicrous, flapping 22 inch flares?) and the sad demise of Coco Chanel, just months after her 87’th birthday the previous year. 

A green and gamine chypre, Chanel No.19 (Mlle Coco was born on 19^th August) became the bra-burning kid sister to grown-up aldehydic floral No.5.  Nothing sissy about this - Gauloises-puffing intellectuals loved No.19  for its bracing, tomboyish edge. It seems an irony then, that this pioneering ‘youth scent’ should be powdered down for a post-post feminist generation raised on amorphous  fruity florals. But Crone reluctantly admits that pumping up the iris (powdery bit) has put No.19 back on trend in a beautifully suave, easy-on-the-nose kind of way

Around the same time as No.19’s launch, Crone discovered Guerlain’s magnificent oriental, Shalimar.  Created in 1925, the year of the International Exhibition of Decorative Arts (Art Deco) in Paris, exotic Shalimar went perfectly with the ‘20s and ‘30s frocks Crone snapped up from Oxfam. (Can’t get them for love nor money, not even on Portobello these days!).  Crone’s beau de jour never failed to point out that the billows of vanilla reminded him of custard powder.  (Was she apple crumble of his eye? She didn’t stick around long enough to find out). Yet according to Guerlain nose Thierry Wasser, his 17-year-old neice found the original scent intimidating. Fair enough, beneath vanilla’s sweetness lurks a darker, more hormonal vibe.  Vanilla is, after all, an aphrodisiac - Jacques Guerlain used to say that he made Shalimar like an outrageously low-cut dress.  Wasser’s redesign, Shalimar Initial, is simpler, lighter, a little bit fruity and even more powdery.  It’s that iris riff again.

So the big question. If we loved the originals, will we embrace these new versions too? It’s been 85 years since the first Shalimar and 40 since No.19. During that time, many of the original ingredients used have now been restricted or banned.  So no, it’s not your hormones or failing sense of smell - your old favourite fragrance is almost certainly not what it once was.  Times have changed, too - and brighter, more vibrant new ingredients have given many old classics a new lease of life.  So can your scent make you smell  younger?  It’s worth a go…

• Chanel No.19 Poudré, 50ml Eau de Parfum, £61 available nationwide from July 15^th 

• Guerlain Shalimar Initial, 40ml Eau de Parfum, £37 available nationwide from August 1^st