Crone’s back! Older and wiser – or so she’d like you to believe. Apropos which, two features leapt out at her from the Daily Wail this week. The first, a curious admission by author Wendy Leigh that she has routinely lied about her age since she was 30. Odd, since Wikipedia lists her as 64 for all to see. Nevertheless, not only does she shave a few years off, but adds a couple on, depending on who she aims to impress. Giving varying accounts of her birthdate – anything from 40 to 75 - ‘to suit the occasion and the vanity of the man’ comes in handy, she believes. Besides, ‘I truly believe it’s a woman’s prerogative to fib,’ she contends. ‘Once a person knows your age, they size you up, put you in a box and expect certain things of you – they are shocked if you don’t live up to their expectations.’
Guess my blurry age - 40, 64, 75?
The second perspective Crone read couldn’t be more opposite. Ray Connolly 74, finds that, after a lifetime of trying to impress or seduce, getting old is liberating because you can finally be yourself. ‘I was like everybody else, trying to look right and sound right and fit in,’ Ray says of his younger self. Now older, ‘you are who you are. And happy, or at least reconciled, with yourself, you just don’t care what people think about you anymore. You can be as eccentric as you want to be.’
And there he is (or someone like him) gleefully frolicking out into the waves, endearingly bare bottom all a-waddle…
Cheeky!
This puts Crone in mind of a personal epiphany, 25 years
ago. Christian Dior had invited a
bevy of beauty editors to Biarritz to celebrate the launch of their blockbuster
scent, Dune. There we were, self-consciously posing on our Dune-themed loungers
among the (ahem!) dunes, checking each other out from behind our Dior sunnies and artfully arranging our limbs to hide the cellulite. Crone
left this choreographed bronzathon for a wander up the beach – and into a group
of superannuated naturists. There
they were, tits and bits to the wind, mahogany bodies creased and seasoned by
sun and surf. Everything was heading south and no-one gave a flying zut alors! It all looked so blissfully
natural that, pausing only to confirm she was out of range of colleagues -
Crone shed her swimsuit and joined them. That was her first skinny dip – and it felt utterly
liberating.
So two points here.
Firstly, if age brings confidence, why not exploit its perks? Far from dodging the stereotyping as
Wendy Leigh believes, lying about our age smacks of the tyranny of approval
seeking - a far cry from Ray’s
liberation. Instead of getting hung up about it, let it all hang out, is the
view of Crone, 64 – same as Wendy - since you ask. My second point is more
prosaic. Even nudists need to wear something – and that something is a bloody
good sunscreen. No point in any of us being more wrinkly than we have to.
Perhaps if my marvellous old French role models had slapped on enough prophylactic such as Vichy Ideal Soleil
Body Oil, £16.50 (had it been invented then) their bronzed bods would have been less leather handbag, more baby's bottom. If age is just a number, 50
is the one Crone's sticking to now. That’s SPF 50…….
